On Going Slow
Maybe the reason I need to go this slow is because if I feel it deeply enough and learn it completely in every ounce of my being I won’t have to do it again. If I try to finagle my way out of it perhaps it will rear its ugly head again. I am ready to let go but in order to let go I really have to make peace with it which is not fun at all. This year I asked for everything and everyone that doesn’t serve me to leave and while I anticipated feeling lighter I didn’t realize part of the problem with being lighter is that I might lose my grounding.
In ayurveda, being kapha dominant usually means that you have a better sense of grounding. You may naturally move a little slower but not in terms of lethargy. You may be able to handle temperature transitions a little bit better, you may naturally have an inclination to be super kind, maybe a little quieter, perhaps you have larger features such as eyes, teeth, fingernails etc. One of the best redeeming qualities that kapha dominant people have (if they are balanced) is being able to ground themselves. One of the problems with not being balanced, being stressed out and losing a bit of that stability is losing that center to ground you. While I was ready to let go of everything and move on it occurred to me that perhaps going slow will allow me to make more careful deliberate decisions.
Oftentimes that is the point when the breakthrough comes in anyway. I wanted everything to be an easy transition but sometimes it requires going as slow as possibly to make sure it never comes back. I am learning to allow things to happen in due time. Sometimes we try to rush because of enthusiasm and sometimes due to desperation but yoga teaches us to calm down. Not just because we should be calm as people but because our foundation affects everything else that we do. The more safely we can go about dealing with emotions and fluctuations in our lives the more easily we will be able to move through life. There is much more nuance involved in our lives, as complex as they are, it is not easy to simply say we should be calm and do more to stay calm.
One thing I noticed for myself was being able to recognize things in real time, being able to catch myself and be present was important but almost impossible until I learned to start letting go. Then carving out time to reflect on events that I had experienced. It has been a process so far and I need to start trusting it more to go forward. What a wonderful journey to be able to change my ways and create a new path for myself. As strenuous and time consuming and at times gut wrenching as it may be, this journey is indeed worth it. Thanks for following along.